Turning On Your Fertility Machine
Motherhood: There's an App For That
What day of girlhood are you on? If you are a fertile adult human female, you have probably grappled with the twin issues of not getting pregnant when you don’t want to, and getting pregnant when you do.
What if I told you there was a wireless, carbon-neutral technology that could prevent pregnancy without the use of synthetic sterilizing xenoestrogen that kills your libido and turns straight women into lesbians?
What if I told you that this same technology could help you achieve pregnancy virtually on demand? Check those dystopian body horrors—like freezing your eggs or renting an artificial womb—at the door to the reproductive technology office!
Just imagine: a room full of literal Kinder Eggs growing babies for anyone with the means.
That’s right, folks! Step right up and try the magical, mysterious fertility machine! Here’s the good news: if you’re a person with a uterus, you already own one. Best of all, it’s free!
I found out about my own fertility machine after I experienced a crushing miscarriage with my first pregnancy. As soon as I stopped crying, I decided the only cure was to become pregnant again immediately. But I didn’t want to become Matthew Broderick’s wife in Election. You know the scene I’m talking about. Luckily, before my poor husband was forced into house arrest, an ankle monitor strapped to his leg so he couldn’t get too far, a friend intervened.
She was one of those weirdos who are “in touch with her cycle.” I was not. But she told me about a remarkable book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health, by Toni Weschler. Apparently it’s a classic, but from Ms. Weschler’s author photo, I was skeptical. Was this frizzy-haired boomer feminist in Seattle actually going to have anything of value to say to me, a proto-Catholic tradwife? She probably had faded Coexist and I’m Still With Her bumper stickers on her 2010 Prius. She looked like the proud mother to many cats.
Did I really want her advice on getting pregnant?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Using the book’s simple, intuitive charts and natural tracking tools, I could actually pinpoint the precise days of the month that I would be able to conceive, and act accordingly.
Download her free charts here.
Instead of throwing darts blindly at the wall for thirty days, I suddenly could direct laser-guided missiles that could strike their target with close to 100 percent accuracy every time.
These are the odds you want when you are in “I need me a baby” mode.
The Real Parenthood-Planner is a Fertility-Aware Woman
And for those of you trying to actively avoid baby mode, I suggest you give chastity a whack (no pun intended). But if you are simply looking to space out your next pregnancy, or avoid pregnancy for good reasons like illness or other urgent life circumstances, this book is also for you!
Once you learn what days are “safe” and what days are not, for whatever your intentions are, you actually do feel like you have taken charge of a mysterious and powerful machine you didn’t quite know you had. You are finally harnessing your fertility’s power and bending it to your will! It works for you now, instead of the other way around.
Toss out your disease-inducing, water-table poisoning xenoestrogen pills, ladies. Have those barbaric IUDs removed and the OB who talked you into one sued for malpractice and for making you gain weight.
Catholics call “taking charge of your fertility” Natural Family Planning, or NFP. But there is nothing in this book that a Catholic would object to – in fact, if anything it is actually somewhat anti-doctor and against the overmedicalization of women.
Pregnancy is not a disease, and does not require preventive medical intervention.
Practicing NFP is 100% natural — there are no drugs, chemicals or devices involved, which is one reason many today find it to be a positive and refreshing alternative to contraceptive methods. NFP honors our dignity as persons by respecting the natural rhythms and functions of the body. It is very common to hear couples who use NFP speak of an increased awe and respect for femininity and their mutual fertility, and a greater sense of empowerment through self-knowledge.
Once you learn how your body works, you’re left with a profound sense of awe that you—yes, you!—are endowed with this spectacular, miraculous power. What other book ends with you delivering a real baby? Toni Weschler has written her own version of The Neverending Story, but it is up to the reader to write their own happy ending.
Use it wisely. Now go forth and multiply!
[Note: This essay was adapted from a post that was originally published at Return.life.]
—Peachy
P.S. To help you rev up the fertility engine, I wrote a book—it comes out one week from today! If you haven’t pre-ordered, please consider ordering now! Kindle and Audible versions also available.
Great article. Thank you for writing this!! I read taking charge of you fertility when I was 20 because birth control made me suicidal. I met my husband at 24 and he was always on board with NFP. He believed that the pill messed with pheromones, and thought they were bad for you. Now we know he was right!
Peachy! This was fantastic! I, too, suffered the miscarriage of our first child (I’m so sorry for your loss), and decided that getting pregnant again immediately was what was needed. We wouldn’t have been able to do it without NFP, and restorative reproductive medicine (RRM) trained doctors, like those who practice NaProTechnology. There’s so much potential for drawing women in from all walks of life into the truths written into our bodies, which is why I’m the editor of a site called NaturalWomanhood.org that approaches this topic from an evidence-based perspective. Please check us out!