The Superbowl Ads are Full of White People Again

But don't be fooled—it's a trick.

Bud Light gets a white wash.

Advertisers have suddenly rediscovered a small, forgotten demographic: white guys.

I guess the big brands realized they’d pushed this DEI thing a teensy little too far, and people rebelled by putting Trump back in the White House and immediately cancelling DEI. White representation is back, baby—at least on Superbowl Sunday.

But beware! The people and agencies and executives behind these brands have not changed. They are exactly who they were when they were making Gillette ads with transmen and casting an angry black woman as Mother Nature to scold the white Apple CEO.

They are still Believers, in other words. Most are probably fanatics. DEI will live forever in their hearts, but right now they need to keep their jobs and survive. To do that, they’ve agreed to start casting more white guys in their ads. Diversity!

However, while there may be less heavy handed race-influenced casting, the actors and celebrities themselves are the worst kind of #resist shitlibs. In other words, these brands are now pandering to a more right-leaning white audience with white people who hate them.

You are allowed to hate them back.

Here are the ads you’ll see if you watch the Superbowl. I won’t be watching; I would rather watch Maxine Waters pull on a pair of Spanx.

This year, you’ll see all of the go-to Popular White Guys Everyone Loves.

But…do we?

Matthew McConaughey, Kevin Bacon, Martha Stewart, and More

Matthew McConaughey and Kevin Bacon in an UberEats ad? It even includes cameos of everyone’s favorite Kamala Harris theme song singer, Charlie XCX, plus Barbie director Greta Gerwig, and Martha Stewart.

This one even depicts a 1940s football team with white players. How was that allowed?

Steve Martin and Martin Short

DisneyPlus chose Ur Boomer White Guy Steve Martin to star in their ad:

It poses the question: what if none of the Disney things you can watch on DisneyPlus existed? White people hardest hit.

Random White Guy

And I can’t remember the last time I saw a job about a dad looking for a job starring a white guy—but Google decided to cast a regular white guy in this one. Vibe shift, right?

Except in this case, the man is an insecure noob who apparently has never had a job before, so he has to use a Google AI assistant to practice his interview skills.

And wait a second—the all-knowing AI assistant has the voice of a wise black guy who is coaching the hapless white loser on how to sound competent.

You almost got us, Google!

Ben Affleck and Bro