Extremism on the Ballot

The 2024 election is between a dangerous madman and Donald Trump.

I hope everyone enjoyed a wonderful day with family and friends on the holiest day of America’s liturgical year, the Transgender Day of Visibility. I had never heard of this blessed Federal holiday until a few days ago, but my kids loved it. We had a visit from the Easter Drag Bunny and it/they filled the kids' baskets with all kinds of treats. Puberty blockers, dilators, lipstick for the boys, packers for the girls. She/They is risen—and you will bow down and worship Her/Them!

Of course, Joe Biden’s Easter sacrilege was only the latest travesty that proves what you and I already know, which is that the 2024 presidential election is a contest between common-sense centrism and dangerously radical extremism. 

One candidate is a classical liberal whose positions are squarely in the middle of the political spectrum. On nearly every issue, his views are anodyne, conventional, mainstream—positions that were the norm, nationwide, in every state, on both sides of the aisle, within recent memory (not including a few fringe strongholds in Berkeley and the West Village).

His opponent, however, is a dangerous radical extremist; a divisive, fanatical agent of chaos who holds frightening positions that threaten to destroy America.

To preserve what’s left of Our Sacred Democracy, the extremist must be stopped.

Grand Unified Replacement Theory

The radicals we are up against are so deranged that they are embracing and even leaning into the Replacement Theory they once vilified and dismissed as fake. You will recall that “replacement theory” was a taboo conspiracy only racists and bigots believed in until about 15 minutes ago. But the extremists running the country recently decided that akshally, “replacement” is the perfect strategy to finish off what’s left of what you and the country formerly known as “America.” 

Replacement means you don’t need to worry about convincing Congress to pass new laws or give speeches or waste time governing. To get your way, just replace everyone.

But the extremists in charge are not going to stop after replacing you with “newcomers.” They’re replacing everything not nailed down.

Easter just got replaced with a demonic child abuse cult festival. 

Jews are getting erased, literally chased out of cities, harassed out of college, and replaced with ululating Hamas enthusiasts. 

Your grandchildren got replaced with fur babies. 

Formerly great universities have been replaced with plagiarizing paperclip factories.

Your borders have been replaced with Welcome Centers.

Your retirement has been replaced with twenty more years of work to pay for safe injection sites for your kids and free gender affirmation surgeries for the world.

As Elon Musk likes to point out on X, Americans are just four percent of the Earth’s population. Soon, they’ll be just four percent of their own country. This is, in President Biden’s own words, going according to plan. “Just like we drew it up,” he tweeted ominously. 

The No-Brainer Election

An explosion in robberies and violent crime. Two dangerous new foreign wars. Forced conversion therapy on normal people to make them believe children can change their sex. Rampant hate crimes and open, gleeful discrimination against people who are not “of color.” 

Who is the extremist again?

The dangerous tyrant seeking re-election has the full support of our bloodthirsty elites, a warmongering foreign policy establishment, virulently antisemitic academia, and the entire mainstream media apparatus. Sometimes it’s hard to even fathom what we are facing, but then you remember that they had the nerve to arrest and sentence a young man to prison for… wait for it… sharing a funny Hillary Clinton meme. That actually happened in real life.

The humble moderate whom these frightening cretins hope to defeat this fall faces expropriation of his property to satisfy hundreds of millions of dollars in absurd fines, plus hundreds of millions of dollars in legal fees to fight regime lawfare on a Hiroshima scale. The threat of prison looms. His support comes not from wealthy celebrities, titans of industry, or the tech billionaires. It comes from the peasants. The rabble. A ragtag coalition of nobodies, the working class, the powerless middle class, and a few anonymous dissidents forced to post samizdat from undisclosed locations to avoid the eye of Sauron. 

The radical extremist we face wants to empty our treasury so he can continue to launder hundreds of billions of our dollars through the most corrupt nation in Europe, which for decades was the world’s number one producer of child pornography, among other evils. 

He’s flirting with nuclear war, and even committed an illegal act of war by detonating an enormous oil pipeline that helped heat all of Europe. His military bosses are blackmailing brave American military families: if they don’t cough up the cash for Ukraine, he’ll send their enlisted kids to die in a hole in Siberia. Thanks to him, 13 Marines were blown up in Afghanistan, but if you’re a grieving parent who protests, he has you handcuffed and dragged to prison, as he did to one dad who dared to protest at the State of the Union.

This extremist lunatic is also doing whatever he can to trigger another Middle East quagmire that inevitably will put boots on the ground in all the old stomping grounds. He wears Catholicism like a skinsuit, blaspheming the rosary around his wrist as he excoriates actual people of faith who want to protect the unborn. He screams for abortion through 40 weeks, for any reason.

He sends his shock troops to arrest pro-life protestors and slanders parents as “domestic extremists.”

He’s so extreme he thinks young children can choose to change their genders with irreversible experimental surgeries that have catastrophic rates of failure. He wants parents who don’t allow schools to secretly change a child’s gender behind their backs to lose control of their children and go to prison.

He’s so radical that he thinks it's funny when you can’t afford groceries, and wonders why you don’t buy the “other Raisin Bran” in order to save a dollar. He mocks you when he declares “Let them eat more chips,” as he pledges to increase the number of Doritos in each shrinkflated bag. 

Worst of all, this crazed extremist thinks it's good to dissolve the nation’s borders, permanently and eternally. He wants to pack the country with the excess population of Central and South America, as well as Africa and Asia, to boost congressional reapportionment numbers and make America blue forever. Any kids that get raped or murdered are not his problem. The tree of extremism must be watered by the blood of America’s daughters like Laken Riley.

Our only hope, my fellow centrists, is to throw our entire weight behind the common-sense moderate running against Joe Biden. All he wants is to return the country to the way it was within recent memory (!):  a blessed land that enjoyed low illegal immigration, low crime, low prices, low inflation, low mortgage interest rates, and high patriotism and, imagine—optimism.

Our demands are simple. We want a leader who will make the country a place where normal citizens can go about their lives in peace, enjoy a bit of prosperity, not have to worry about politics constantly, and not get pushed in front of a train waiting for the subway on the way to work. 

A poll says most of the electorate is “unhappy” with their choice of candidates and wishes it wasn’t a Trump-Biden rematch.

Get over it and get on board. You don’t have any other option. 

The Regime’s iron grip on power can only be broken by finally calling them what they are: domestic extremists inflicting acts of terror, violence, and child abuse on innocent citizens. Their hegemony can only be broken by regular, reasonable people in the middle—in other words, you, me, and Donald Trump—exorcising them from power and driving them back into the fetid swamps from whence they came.

The current Regime represents an existential threat to our lives and liberty. They are no longer a political party; they are a violent hate group, and the group they hate is us.

Only God himself can show them mercy, and I doubt he will when the time comes.

Vote for the centrist if you want to live!

Thanks for reading!

—Peachy